Free puns sayings, quotes and quotations
Puns are little plays on words that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look at you in a certain self-satisfied way to indicate that he thinks that you must think that he is by far the cleverest person on Earth now that Benjamin Franklin is dead, when in fact what you are thinking is that if this person ever ends up in a lifeboat, the other passengers will hurl him overboard by the end of the first day even if they have plenty of food and water.
~famous puns by Dave Barry, Why Humor Is Funny
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
~inspirational sayings about Puns quotes by Fred Allen
People who make puns are like wanton boys that put coppers on the railroad tracks. They amuse themselves and other children, but their little trick may upset a freight train of conversation for the sake of a battered witticism.
~puns quotes by Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., The Autocrat of the Breakfast-Table, 1858
A pun does not commonly justify a blow in return. But if a blow were given for such cause, and death ensued, the jury would be judges both of the facts and of the pun, and might, if the latter were of an aggravated character, return a verdict of justifiable homicide.
~famous quotes about Puns by Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., The Autocrat of the Breakfast-Table, 1858
A good pun is its own reword.
~puns sayings by Author Unknown
A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.
~famous puns by Doug Larson
A man who could make so vile a pun would not scruple to pick a pocket.
~inspirational sayings about Puns quotes by John Dennis, 1781
In the pun, two strings of thought are tangled into one acoustic knot.
~puns quotes by Arthur Koestler
The goodness of the true pun is in the direct ratio of its intolerability.
~famous quotes about Puns by Edgar Allan Poe, Marginalia, 1849
A pun is not bound by the laws which limit nicer wit. It is a pistol let off at the ear; not a feather to tickle the intellect.
~puns sayings by Charles Lamb, Popular Fallacies: That the Worst Puns are the Best, Last Essays of Elia, 1833
A pun is a short quip followed by a long groan.
~famous puns by Author Unknown
As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
~famous puns by Buddy Hackett
If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.
~good sayings about Happiness by Josh Billings
Tea is a cup of life.
~puns quotes by Author Unknown
We are the prisoners of history. Or are we?
~motivational quotes about History sayings by Robert Penn Warren, Segregation
Men can live without air a few minutes, without water for about two weeks, without food for about two months - and without a new thought for years on end.
~puns sayings by Kent Ruth
The most I can do for my friend is simply to be his friend. I have no wealth to bestow on him. If he knows that I am happy in loving him, he will want no other reward. Is not friendship divine in this?
~famous puns by Henry David Thoreau
The quality of a university is measured more by the kind of student it turns out than the kind it takes in.
~good sayings about College by Robert J. Kibbee
For him that stealeth a Book from this Library, let it change into a serpent in his hand and rend him. Let him be struck with Palsy, and all his Members blasted. Let him languish in Pain crying aloud for Mercy and let there be no sur-cease to his Agony till he sink in Dissolution. Let Bookworms gnaw his Entrails in token of the Worm that dieth not, and when at last he goeth to his final Punishment, let the flames of Hell consume him for ever and aye.
~puns quotes by Curse Against Book Stealers, Monastery of San Pedro, Barcelona
Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end; then stop.
~motivational quotes about Philosophical sayings by Lewis Carrol, Alice in Wonderland
Excess on occasion is exhilirating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.
~puns sayings by W. Somerset Maugham, The Summing Up, 1938
"PRAY FOR WHAT YOU WANT, BUT WORK FOR THE THINGS YOU NEED"
~famous puns by UNKNOWN
A baby is an angel whose wings decrease as his legs increase.
~good sayings about Angels by Author Unknown
In these times you have to be an optimist to open your eyes when you awake in the morning.
~puns quotes by Carl Sandburg, New York Post, 9 September 1960
Choice has always been a privilege of those who could afford to pay for it.
~motivational quotes about Society sayings by Ellen Frankfort
Humor is, I think, the subtlest and chanciest of literary forms. It is surely not accidental that there are a thousand novelists, essayists, poets or journalists for each humorist. It is a long, long time between James Thurbers.
~puns sayings by Leo Rosten
I swing before your eyes as a bright gleam of color, a symbol of yourself, the pictured suggestion of that big thing which makes this nationMy stars and my stripes are your dream and your laborsThey are bright with cheer, brilliant with courage, firm with
~famous puns by Franklin Knight Lane
It takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
~good sayings about Honesty by Homer Simpson, from the television show The Simpsons
I always felt that the great high privilege, relief and comfort of friendship was that one had to explain nothing.
~puns quotes by Katherine Mansfield
Coquetry is the essential characteristic, and the prevalent humor of women; but they do not all practice it, because the coquetry of some is restrained by fear or by reason.
~motivational quotes about Flirtation sayings by François Duc de la Rochefoucauld, Maxims
It is discouraging to try to penetrate a mind like yours. You ought to get it out and dance on it. That would take some of the rigidity out of it.
~puns sayings by Mark Twain
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